Sense US!

Packed refrigerators, cabin fever, grumpy kids, depressed adults, weird dreams, zoom fatigue, dusty houses, oxygen meters, piled cardboard, emerging beards, unintentional balliage, broken washers, aimless walks, mask rage…..

Amidst all the concerns of this venal virus, yet another casualty with long lasting consequences is the 2020 Census. It’s that old reliable index of population counts – every ten years for the past eight decades.

Borrring! BUT brilliant! How else to know how many Representatives in Congress; where to put in highways or railways; how much federal money to give to older people; where companies should invest based on generational growth and demographics?

Page from the United States federal census for New York’s South Ward, 1790
Courtesy Museum of New York City

At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Southern white slave owners gained more electoral votes in presidential elections by devising the disgraceful solution to increase their representation: by counting three-fifths of each of their enslaved persons.

I’ve been pushing and promoting and tracking this typically sleeper issue for the past six months (we created a preview/tutorials called to help increase the count among older people – now doubly hit with digital timidity, fewer post boxes, and fear of allowing in strangers – and yet to mention confusing mailings, conflicting information, and shortened timetables.

I realized and tweeted the truth – that after this pandemic has gone away, the consequences of the count will endure – in less funding, representation, and access.

TEN YEARS of deprivation because of six months of inaction. What would help, I wonder? Threats? Celebrities? door-to-door? All we could think of was a safe, friendly test drive. So far, those needing most support are the least likely to submit their information. on this date, most states are still missing about a third of their people. Here’s where I found that (how do they know the percent if they don’t know the actual numbers today?)

And the whole thing ends in 60 days!

“But I don’t want anyone to see me looking like this!”

The psychology behind techno phobia

As  boomers share their “quarentinis” with friends on Face Time, work continues via Zoom, and Millennials Instagram selfies of their workouts at home, younger generations plead with their older relatives to get online and video chat. Even the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) guidelines ask younger generations to use social media, phones and videos to support older Americans.

But have you tried? Are you frustrated? Is your parent annoyed and frustrated, too. “I’m just a Luddite – i don’t know how to work this thing.”


Do not blame your elders!!! Have you seen that hysterical YouTube viddeo where 17- year old students cannot figure out how to work a rotary phone! 160,000 people watched this:

Those of us who have been riding on the information highway for years have accumulated vocabulary, instincts and habits that inform our intuition  — we instinctively know to touch the top of the screen to find hidden buttons, and such.  But those who were retired  in the 90’s or were not in a situation to have or need the Internet have built up resistance and work-arounds. Others have devices but use them for very limited purposes. “Just call me on the phone, darling; you don’t need  to see my face to know I love you.” One woman in a GoL focus group said “Just put the check in the mail and the grand kids will you call you.” Another was fiercely against learning: “If they get me on this thing [computer] they’ll never come to visit!”.

But then came the Spring of 2020 forced isolation.  Now, everyone is motivated and it’s hard to teach long distance. The younger troops are worried. The grandparents are tired of their nagging. And embarrassed and confused about the technology, even if it means seeing the family.

Perhaps these sound familiar – and perhaps the responses may deflect them.

  1. “It’s too complicated and I’m too old to learn”

You build brain cells by trying!

2. “Let’s just talk on the phone – I’m a mess anyway.”

The camera spins in two directions. Show me the empty street out your window.

3.  “I just have an e-reader. and we don’t have WiFi or whatever.”

Do you have a smartphone?

4.  I can’t remember my password.

You wont need a password.

(Or if you do, start over. Hit can’t remember password and create a new one! write it down. You’ll  be surprised how well you do!) Older adults frequently underestimate the power of their own memories, leading to some bad habits that fail to make the best use of their minds, says Dayna Touron at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.  Eventually, that lack of confidence may become a self-fulfilling prophecy – as your memory skills slowly decline through lack of use. However, she has found that simply giving the older adults feedback on their performance – and underlining the accuracy of their memory – can encourage them to rely more on their recall, as reported by the BBC.

Of course I’d like everyone to somehow get their parents on to our simplified training app to give them skills and confidence without your help.

Easy Tablet Help For Seniors in Apple App store

Easy Tablet Help For Seniors in Google Play store

( 4 android.)

But the real point is, to help get your elders online, first get inside their heads, before you try to get inside their space! As with most things, winning the psychological battle often ends the war. And in this war on the Pandemic, we wish you luck and ease to safe, healthy times for you and yours.




Talk about empathy!!!!

Covid-19 Corona Virus has accomplished in three months what spiritual leaders and governments have sought for centuries: bond communities into common connections, heighten mindfulness, encourage empathy.

So here we sit with extra boxes of pasta in our bravado little bubbles, passing along the latest information, and urgent thoughts and support for one another. Have you had the emails from worried kids with admonitions and pleas to cancel trips and take care? Have your conversations included  — if not begun with — “Corona”? Since December 2019, nearly five million searches, inclusion in every newscast all day long, and near daily updates from authorities have dramatically increased the email exchanges among loved ones (I’m guessing). But it’s human nature to connect to others in time of need; isolation is akin to smoking 15 cigarettes a day (I’m not guessing – Brigham Young University study).

As nursing and assisted living homes close their doors this week to lock out the killer contagion, it could also open the window to alternative communication! Grand-kids should pick up their phones to make a real voice-to-voice call. Send an old-fashioned funny greeting card.  Print off that photo before uploading it, and send it to someone who is feeling more lonely and scared than ever. Every retirement and nursing home,  assisted living facility and homeless shelter should have tablet computers as available as soup! And some easy way to attract and show elders how easy it is to see their hometown paper or answers to their most random question. There are good simple training programs, such as (and I’m clearly biased) the free self-guided app Easy Tablet Help for Seniors

But think how much you, yourself, are watching, using, checking, sending —  online —  in this crisis. Isn’t it heartbreaking to imagine the isolation spreading exponentially among the more confined?

Here’s to short-lived problems, long-lived  family, and well-lived lives!!!!

Josie Fletcher at Surrey Senior Center sending her first text to her granddaughter! - Copy

Josie Fletcher at Surrey Senior Center sending her first text to her loving granddaughter

Territory Cases Deaths Recoveries Ref.
 China (mainla 80,790 3,158 61,611 [1]
 Italy 12,462 827 1,045 [1]
 Iran 9,000 354 2,959 [1]
 South Korea 7,755 61 288 [2]
 France[c] 2,281 48 12 [1]
 Spain 2,222 49 183 [3]
 Germany 1,908 3 25 [1]
 United States
(including Grand Princess)
1,109 31 15 [4]
Cruise ship side view.svg Diamond Princess[d] 696 7 357 [1]
 Switzerland 652 4 3 [1]
 Japan 639 15 118 [1]
 Norway 570 0 1 [1]
 Netherlands 503 5 0 [1]
 Sweden 497 1 1 [1][5]
 United Kingdom[e] 460 8 19 [1][6][7]
 Denmark[f] 444 0 2 [8]
 Belgium 314 3 1 [1][9]
 Qatar 262 0 0 [1]
 Austria 246 0 4 [1]
 Bahrain 195 0 35 [10]
 Singapore 178 0 96 [1]
 Malaysia 149 0 26 [1]
 Australia 127 3 24 [1]
 Hong Kong 126 3 60 [1]
 Canada 99 1 9 [1]
 Greece 99 0 0 [11]
 Iceland 85 0 1 [1]
 Israel 79 0 4 [1]
 Czech Republic 81 0 0 [12]
 United Arab Emirates 74 0 17 [1]
 Kuwait 72 0 2 [1]
 Iraq 71 7 15 [1]
 San Marino 66 3 0 [13]
 India 62 0 4 [1]
 Lebanon 61 2 1 [1]
(including MS River Anuket)
60 1 27 [1]
 Thailand 59 1 34 [1]
 Finland 59 0 1 [1]
 Portugal 59 0 0 [14]
 Slovenia 57 0 0 [15]
 Philippines 49 1 2 [1]
 Taiwan 48 1 17 [1]
 Romania 39 0 6 [1]
 Vietnam 38 0 16 [1]
 Brazil 35 0 0 [1]
 Ireland 34 1 0 [1]
 Indonesia 34 1 2 [1]
 Poland 31 0 0 [16]
 Palestine 30 0 0 [1]
 Georgia 24 0 0 [1]
 Chile 23 0 0 [1]
 Saudi Arabia 21 0 1 [1]
 Algeria 20 0 0 [1]
 Russia 20 0 3 [1]
 Argentina 19 1 0 [1]
 Pakistan 19 0 1 [17]
 Oman 18 0 9 [1]
 Ecuador 17 0 0 [1]
 Croatia 16 0 0 [1]
 Estonia 16 0 0 [18]
 Costa Rica 13 0 0 [1]
 Hungary 13 0 0 [1]
 South Africa 13 0 0 [1][19]
 Albania 12 1 0 [1]
 Serbia 12 0 0 [1]
 Azerbaijan 11 0 0 [1]
 Brunei 11 0 0 [1]
 Peru 11 0 0 [1]
 Slovakia 10 0 0 [1]
 Latvia 10 0 1 [1]
 Macau 10 0 10 [1]
 Colombia 9 0 0 [20]
 Belarus 12 0 3 [1][21]
 Panama 8 1 0 [22][23]
 Maldives 8 0 0 [1]
 Mexico 8 0 4 [1]
 Afghanistan 7 0 0 [1]
 Bosnia and Herzegovina 7 0 0 [1]
 Luxembourg 7 0 0 [1]
 North Macedonia 7 0 0 [1]
 Tunisia 7 0 0 [1]
 Bulgaria 6 1 0 [1]
 Cyprus 6 0 0 [1]
 Malta 6 0 0 [1]
 Morocco 6 1 0 [1]
 Dominican Republic 5 0 0 [1]
 New Zealand 5 0 0 [1]
 Paraguay 5 0 0 [1]
 Senegal 4 0 1 [1]
 Bangladesh 3 0 0 [1]
 Lithuania 3 0 0 [1]
 Moldova 3 0 0 [1]
 Cambodia 3 0 1 [1]
 Bolivia 2 0 0 [1]
 Burkina Faso 2 0 0 [1]
 Cameroon 2 0 0 [1]
 Honduras 2 0 0 [24]
 Nigeria 2 0 0 [1]
 Sri Lanka 2 0 1 [1]
 Andorra 1 0 0 [1]
 Armenia 1 0 0 [1]
 Bhutan 1 0 0 [1]
 DR Congo 1 0 0 [25]
 Guernsey 1 0 0 [26]
 Ivory Coast 1 0 0 [27]
 Jamaica 1 0 0 [28]
 Jersey 1 0 0 [29]
 Jordan 1 0 0 [1]
 Liechtenstein 1 0 0 [1]
 Monaco 1 0 0 [1]
 Mongolia 1 0 0 [1]
 Togo 1 0 0 [1]
 Turkey 1 0 0 [30]
 Ukraine 1 0 0 [1]
 Vatican City 1 0 0 [1]
 Nepal 1 0 1 [1]
Total territories (118)[4] 125,060 4,585 67,050 [1]

Thanks to the wonderful Wikipedia- to which we should all send contributions.

Ten tips to younger looking skin!


After staring at faces of octogenarians, nonagenarians, and loads of septuagenarians,  these past two decades, I think I see the secret to lovely aging!

The most attractive 70-,80-, and 90-year-olds are the ones who:

  1. smile as soon as they meet you
  2. lean forward to listen to what you have to say (yeah – some is to back up the hearing with lip reading, but it’s mostly out of interest)
  3. are immediately adn enthusiastically engaged in whatever the conversation is about
  4.  ask questions…(and not just “whadja say?”…but really, about what you just said.
  5.  are current with the news
  6.  have opinions, and passion, but frowns are fleeting
  7.  love their food, notice the sky, comment on what’s in front of their eyes
  8. touch and don’t mind being touched (or hugged)
  9. shun “organ recitals” (of what’s aching)
  10. look at others and the sites around them instead of the mirror. Let’s face it – you can’t see the wrinkles on yourself if you’re looking at someone else.

Do you have a resolution solution?

When I met a casual friend on the street, I learned a lesson, but how to remember it?


It was clear that my casual friend wore a weary dispirited look as we happened to meet. When she confided that she was battling a most serious illness, I struggled to find the right words, grabbing quickly from the guidance in Sheryl Sandberg’s recent book, Option B, about the importance of addressing the realities of loss and illness rather than ducking behind platitudes or ignorance.  In her book tour at the Free Library of Philadelphia Author series, Sandberg said, “People would tell me they didn’t want to bring up David’s death for fear of reminding me. WHAAAT? Like I forgot it?!!!”

So I wrote to c.f. soon thereafter, saying any time she wished to hang out together, I was right here. (Failing Sandberg’s advice to offer something specific.) Even that sounded so ridiculous, but I wanted desperately to make contact and also not to patronize or do the wrong thing. She wrote back, “That’s kind of you.” And I replied: “Not kind; selfish. We make choices as to how to spend our time and talking to you awakened my awareness that I was making poor choices. The work can wait. Xo”

Yeah, there are resolutions we belch out once in 365 days and employ no metric, accountability, plan, or evaluation. In other words, it’s all talk; rarely action.

I’m trying to find a way to keep this new awareness and sincere intention alive, practiced, and kept. If anyone has a proven solution, please share it with me and everyone who reads this blog.

(And, if your own resolution is to improve your relationship with an aging parent, try giving them the gift of the World Wide Web at their fingertips, literally. Easy Tablet Help for Seniors)

Happy Holidays and Great Intentions – well retained!

So what’s the deal with yoga?


So what’s the deal with Yoga? Some 36 million Americans now do it. It’s a 27 billion dollar industry. Those of us who practice it swear by it. Those who don’t, claim to admire it but doubt they could “do it”.

When I walked into the studio in 1999 after two years of private yoga study and told my teacher I had some news to share, he immediately and unflappably deadpanned, “You’re quitting your job and changing your career.” How did he know? “Because once in yoga so many people do.”

For me — the hard charging, goal-oriented healthcare exec — the adventure of doing something utterly solo, completely unjudged, intensely inward, and all about what you’re doing at the moment rather than where you’re heading in the end…. dug into my soul as well as my sinews.

Seems when you’re not fixating on the issue you are fixated about, answers emerge. Your flaccid mind makes creative connections.

All the rage over mindful meditation (which really means mindless meditation) is different. That notes what’s happening around you without judgement. In yoga – and maybe golf!?? – you’re paying so much attention to your body – a small shift of your wrist changing the hinge of your shoulder – that it precludes any thoughts of bills to pay or bills in Congress.

For me, back then, it connected the relatively new thing called The Internet and my wish to change the face of aging. I can’t say it happened in lotus position or hero pose or at any moment on my mat. It’s like those sudden creative ideas you have standing in the shower when it’s been on too long, and you’ve zoned out.

I suddenly realized back in 1999 that if we could simplify the way to learn and use the Internet and email for those who need it most – the low income, less mobile elderly – wow. If they could gain the freedom to cyber travel (Peter Drucker said the Internet eliminates distance in 2001!) they would be on a more equal footing with everyone else, gain greater respect, have greater self-respect for having learned at new skill at an older age, and be more easily connected to family and friends.

Birth of Generations on Line. Now we’ve helped more than 100,000 elders in the U.S., Canada, England and Australia – stretching way beyond what we thought possible.  Maybe that’s what it’s really all about.