Do you have a resolution solution?

When I met a casual friend on the street, I learned a lesson, but how to remember it?

Old-and-young-hands-symbolizing-helping-the-elderly

It was clear that my casual friend wore a weary dispirited look as we happened to meet. When she confided that she was battling a most serious illness, I struggled to find the right words, grabbing quickly from the guidance in Sheryl Sandberg’s recent book, Option B, about the importance of addressing the realities of loss and illness rather than ducking behind platitudes or ignorance.  In her book tour at the Free Library of Philadelphia Author series, Sandberg said, “People would tell me they didn’t want to bring up David’s death for fear of reminding me. WHAAAT? Like I forgot it?!!!”

So I wrote to c.f. soon thereafter, saying any time she wished to hang out together, I was right here. (Failing Sandberg’s advice to offer something specific.) Even that sounded so ridiculous, but I wanted desperately to make contact and also not to patronize or do the wrong thing. She wrote back, “That’s kind of you.” And I replied: “Not kind; selfish. We make choices as to how to spend our time and talking to you awakened my awareness that I was making poor choices. The work can wait. Xo”

Yeah, there are resolutions we belch out once in 365 days and employ no metric, accountability, plan, or evaluation. In other words, it’s all talk; rarely action.

I’m trying to find a way to keep this new awareness and sincere intention alive, practiced, and kept. If anyone has a proven solution, please share it with me and everyone who reads this blog.

(And, if your own resolution is to improve your relationship with an aging parent, try giving them the gift of the World Wide Web at their fingertips, literally. Easy Tablet Help for Seniors)

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/generations-n-line/id855402889  https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/generations-on-line/id855402889)

Happy Holidays and Great Intentions – well retained!

So what’s the deal with yoga?

yoga

So what’s the deal with Yoga? Some 36 million Americans now do it. It’s a 27 billion dollar industry. Those of us who practice it swear by it. Those who don’t, claim to admire it but doubt they could “do it”.

When I walked into the studio in 1999 after two years of private yoga study and told my teacher I had some news to share, he immediately and unflappably deadpanned, “You’re quitting your job and changing your career.” How did he know? “Because once in yoga so many people do.”

For me — the hard charging, goal-oriented healthcare exec — the adventure of doing something utterly solo, completely unjudged, intensely inward, and all about what you’re doing at the moment rather than where you’re heading in the end…. dug into my soul as well as my sinews.

Seems when you’re not fixating on the issue you are fixated about, answers emerge. Your flaccid mind makes creative connections.

All the rage over mindful meditation (which really means mindless meditation) is different. That notes what’s happening around you without judgement. In yoga – and maybe golf!?? – you’re paying so much attention to your body – a small shift of your wrist changing the hinge of your shoulder – that it precludes any thoughts of bills to pay or bills in Congress.

For me, back then, it connected the relatively new thing called The Internet and my wish to change the face of aging. I can’t say it happened in lotus position or hero pose or at any moment on my mat. It’s like those sudden creative ideas you have standing in the shower when it’s been on too long, and you’ve zoned out.

I suddenly realized back in 1999 that if we could simplify the way to learn and use the Internet and email for those who need it most – the low income, less mobile elderly – wow. If they could gain the freedom to cyber travel (Peter Drucker said the Internet eliminates distance in 2001!) they would be on a more equal footing with everyone else, gain greater respect, have greater self-respect for having learned at new skill at an older age, and be more easily connected to family and friends.

Birth of Generations on Line. Now we’ve helped more than 100,000 elders in the U.S., Canada, England and Australia – stretching way beyond what we thought possible.  Maybe that’s what it’s really all about.

Namaste.