“But I don’t want anyone to see me looking like this!”

The psychology behind techno phobia

As  boomers share their “quarentinis” with friends on Face Time, work continues via Zoom, and Millennials Instagram selfies of their workouts at home, younger generations plead with their older relatives to get online and video chat. Even the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) guidelines ask younger generations to use social media, phones and videos to support older Americans.

But have you tried? Are you frustrated? Is your parent annoyed and frustrated, too. “I’m just a Luddite – i don’t know how to work this thing.”

kids

Do not blame your elders!!! Have you seen that hysterical YouTube viddeo where 17- year old students cannot figure out how to work a rotary phone! 160,000 people watched this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHNEzndgiFI

Those of us who have been riding on the information highway for years have accumulated vocabulary, instincts and habits that inform our intuition  — we instinctively know to touch the top of the screen to find hidden buttons, and such.  But those who were retired  in the 90’s or were not in a situation to have or need the Internet have built up resistance and work-arounds. Others have devices but use them for very limited purposes. “Just call me on the phone, darling; you don’t need  to see my face to know I love you.” One woman in a GoL focus group said “Just put the check in the mail and the grand kids will you call you.” Another was fiercely against learning: “If they get me on this thing [computer] they’ll never come to visit!”.

But then came the Spring of 2020 forced isolation.  Now, everyone is motivated and it’s hard to teach long distance. The younger troops are worried. The grandparents are tired of their nagging. And embarrassed and confused about the technology, even if it means seeing the family.

Perhaps these sound familiar – and perhaps the responses may deflect them.

  1. “It’s too complicated and I’m too old to learn”

You build brain cells by trying!

2. “Let’s just talk on the phone – I’m a mess anyway.”

The camera spins in two directions. Show me the empty street out your window.

3.  “I just have an e-reader. and we don’t have WiFi or whatever.”

Do you have a smartphone?

4.  I can’t remember my password.

You wont need a password.

(Or if you do, start over. Hit can’t remember password and create a new one! write it down. You’ll  be surprised how well you do!) Older adults frequently underestimate the power of their own memories, leading to some bad habits that fail to make the best use of their minds, says Dayna Touron at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.  Eventually, that lack of confidence may become a self-fulfilling prophecy – as your memory skills slowly decline through lack of use. However, she has found that simply giving the older adults feedback on their performance – and underlining the accuracy of their memory – can encourage them to rely more on their recall, as reported by the BBC.

Of course I’d like everyone to somehow get their parents on to our simplified training app to give them skills and confidence without your help.

Easy Tablet Help For Seniors in Apple App store

Easy Tablet Help For Seniors in Google Play store

(www.generationsonline.org/gol4ipador 4 android.)

But the real point is, to help get your elders online, first get inside their heads, before you try to get inside their space! As with most things, winning the psychological battle often ends the war. And in this war on the Pandemic, we wish you luck and ease to safe, healthy times for you and yours.

 

 

 

Talk about empathy!!!!

Covid-19 Corona Virus has accomplished in three months what spiritual leaders and governments have sought for centuries: bond communities into common connections, heighten mindfulness, encourage empathy.

So here we sit with extra boxes of pasta in our bravado little bubbles, passing along the latest information, and urgent thoughts and support for one another. Have you had the emails from worried kids with admonitions and pleas to cancel trips and take care? Have your conversations included  — if not begun with — “Corona”? Since December 2019, nearly five million searches, inclusion in every newscast all day long, and near daily updates from authorities have dramatically increased the email exchanges among loved ones (I’m guessing). But it’s human nature to connect to others in time of need; isolation is akin to smoking 15 cigarettes a day (I’m not guessing – Brigham Young University study).

As nursing and assisted living homes close their doors this week to lock out the killer contagion, it could also open the window to alternative communication! Grand-kids should pick up their phones to make a real voice-to-voice call. Send an old-fashioned funny greeting card.  Print off that photo before uploading it, and send it to someone who is feeling more lonely and scared than ever. Every retirement and nursing home,  assisted living facility and homeless shelter should have tablet computers as available as soup! And some easy way to attract and show elders how easy it is to see their hometown paper or answers to their most random question. There are good simple training programs, such as (and I’m clearly biased) the free self-guided app Easy Tablet Help for Seniors

But think how much you, yourself, are watching, using, checking, sending —  online —  in this crisis. Isn’t it heartbreaking to imagine the isolation spreading exponentially among the more confined?

Here’s to short-lived problems, long-lived  family, and well-lived lives!!!!

Josie Fletcher at Surrey Senior Center sending her first text to her granddaughter! - Copy

Josie Fletcher at Surrey Senior Center sending her first text to her loving granddaughter

Territory Cases Deaths Recoveries Ref.
 China (mainla 80,790 3,158 61,611 [1]
 Italy 12,462 827 1,045 [1]
 Iran 9,000 354 2,959 [1]
 South Korea 7,755 61 288 [2]
 France[c] 2,281 48 12 [1]
 Spain 2,222 49 183 [3]
 Germany 1,908 3 25 [1]
 United States
(including Grand Princess)
1,109 31 15 [4]
Cruise ship side view.svg Diamond Princess[d] 696 7 357 [1]
 Switzerland 652 4 3 [1]
 Japan 639 15 118 [1]
 Norway 570 0 1 [1]
 Netherlands 503 5 0 [1]
 Sweden 497 1 1 [1][5]
 United Kingdom[e] 460 8 19 [1][6][7]
 Denmark[f] 444 0 2 [8]
 Belgium 314 3 1 [1][9]
 Qatar 262 0 0 [1]
 Austria 246 0 4 [1]
 Bahrain 195 0 35 [10]
 Singapore 178 0 96 [1]
 Malaysia 149 0 26 [1]
 Australia 127 3 24 [1]
 Hong Kong 126 3 60 [1]
 Canada 99 1 9 [1]
 Greece 99 0 0 [11]
 Iceland 85 0 1 [1]
 Israel 79 0 4 [1]
 Czech Republic 81 0 0 [12]
 United Arab Emirates 74 0 17 [1]
 Kuwait 72 0 2 [1]
 Iraq 71 7 15 [1]
 San Marino 66 3 0 [13]
 India 62 0 4 [1]
 Lebanon 61 2 1 [1]
 Egypt
(including MS River Anuket)
60 1 27 [1]
 Thailand 59 1 34 [1]
 Finland 59 0 1 [1]
 Portugal 59 0 0 [14]
 Slovenia 57 0 0 [15]
 Philippines 49 1 2 [1]
 Taiwan 48 1 17 [1]
 Romania 39 0 6 [1]
 Vietnam 38 0 16 [1]
 Brazil 35 0 0 [1]
 Ireland 34 1 0 [1]
 Indonesia 34 1 2 [1]
 Poland 31 0 0 [16]
 Palestine 30 0 0 [1]
 Georgia 24 0 0 [1]
 Chile 23 0 0 [1]
 Saudi Arabia 21 0 1 [1]
 Algeria 20 0 0 [1]
 Russia 20 0 3 [1]
 Argentina 19 1 0 [1]
 Pakistan 19 0 1 [17]
 Oman 18 0 9 [1]
 Ecuador 17 0 0 [1]
 Croatia 16 0 0 [1]
 Estonia 16 0 0 [18]
 Costa Rica 13 0 0 [1]
 Hungary 13 0 0 [1]
 South Africa 13 0 0 [1][19]
 Albania 12 1 0 [1]
 Serbia 12 0 0 [1]
 Azerbaijan 11 0 0 [1]
 Brunei 11 0 0 [1]
 Peru 11 0 0 [1]
 Slovakia 10 0 0 [1]
 Latvia 10 0 1 [1]
 Macau 10 0 10 [1]
 Colombia 9 0 0 [20]
 Belarus 12 0 3 [1][21]
 Panama 8 1 0 [22][23]
 Maldives 8 0 0 [1]
 Mexico 8 0 4 [1]
 Afghanistan 7 0 0 [1]
 Bosnia and Herzegovina 7 0 0 [1]
 Luxembourg 7 0 0 [1]
 North Macedonia 7 0 0 [1]
 Tunisia 7 0 0 [1]
 Bulgaria 6 1 0 [1]
 Cyprus 6 0 0 [1]
 Malta 6 0 0 [1]
 Morocco 6 1 0 [1]
 Dominican Republic 5 0 0 [1]
 New Zealand 5 0 0 [1]
 Paraguay 5 0 0 [1]
 Senegal 4 0 1 [1]
 Bangladesh 3 0 0 [1]
 Lithuania 3 0 0 [1]
 Moldova 3 0 0 [1]
 Cambodia 3 0 1 [1]
 Bolivia 2 0 0 [1]
 Burkina Faso 2 0 0 [1]
 Cameroon 2 0 0 [1]
 Honduras 2 0 0 [24]
 Nigeria 2 0 0 [1]
 Sri Lanka 2 0 1 [1]
 Andorra 1 0 0 [1]
 Armenia 1 0 0 [1]
 Bhutan 1 0 0 [1]
 DR Congo 1 0 0 [25]
 Guernsey 1 0 0 [26]
 Ivory Coast 1 0 0 [27]
 Jamaica 1 0 0 [28]
 Jersey 1 0 0 [29]
 Jordan 1 0 0 [1]
 Liechtenstein 1 0 0 [1]
 Monaco 1 0 0 [1]
 Mongolia 1 0 0 [1]
 Togo 1 0 0 [1]
 Turkey 1 0 0 [30]
 Ukraine 1 0 0 [1]
 Vatican City 1 0 0 [1]
 Nepal 1 0 1 [1]
Total territories (118)[4] 125,060 4,585 67,050 [1]

Thanks to the wonderful Wikipedia- to which we should all send contributions.